Christina Solstad - Spirit of Chaco Blog

Are You Holding Fast to Your Dreams?

This Langston Hughes poem captured my heart long ago.

Hold fast to your dreams,

For if dreams die,

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.

It is amazing what we can create when we keep our dreams alive - no matter what "they" think. 

Have you ever let someone take away your dreams? What did you do to get them back?

Are You Listening? Are You Awake?

I love the mystic poet Rumi; his words live across time and space, and always speak to my heart. 

Awake! reminds me to listen, to get up, and to write when I am awakened in the early morning hours.

I'm still learning.

We must be aware and open when inspiration strikes, or when it coyly peeks through the door.

Awake!

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don't go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.

Don't go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the doorsill

Where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open

Don't go back to sleep.

    ~ by the mystic poet Rumi

Are you listening?

Writing and AHA! Moments

William Faulkner helps me remember why I write ... and what I need to do, which is to write, and write, and write some more.

For all you writers, and hope-to-be writers, this is for you.

Sometimes we forget that we have this talent. It sits bottle-necked while we run to the store, wash clothes, and hit a few balls at the golf course. But to experience those AHA! moments where the work surprises even you, you have to write thousands of words regularly, daily, frequently.

When your subconscious cranks out words better than your conscious mind can imagine, magic happens. And that only occurs with a habit and an addiction to putting the words on the paper.

                                     ~ William Faulkner

(Thanks to Hope Clark, in December 2005).

Now excuse me while I go write.

Nurturing Your Own Creative Process

My recent writing dry spell is teaching me about my own creative process, and how I can nurture it.

I love to write. I need to write. But the truth is, I don't always write, and sometimes it is downright hard. I know ... a writer writes, and writing happens when you put your butt in the chair. But getting my butt in the chair ... therein lies the challenge.

Here's how I have learned I can nurture my own creative process, and "get my butt in the chair":

• Build my life around my writing, rather than my writing around my life. Carve out my own sacred time to write, and let nothing interrupt it. Make it a priority.

There is always something pressing needing my attention: the client work that pays my bills, that important phone call or meeting, or more sleep. If I don't plan the writing into my day, it won't happen.

• Remove myself from distractions long enough to write. Put myself in a different room to write, and close the door. Let others know this is my writing time.

I am easily distracted. It could be the beautiful day outside, the bills to pay, the client work waiting for me, an interesting conversation, the people I am visiting, or just feeling like I need a nap.

• Make sure I do at least some writing early in the day.

Otherwise, by the time I have a chance to write, it is often late, and my brain has shut off. The idea of being creative just doesn't compute.

What If You Die With Your Music Still Within You?

I realized a few years ago that a big fear of mine was dying with my “music” still within me, with all the feelings and thoughts and creativity bubbling up from my deepest self still unexpressed.

I no longer have that fear.

During a two- or three-year period many of those I loved - family, extended family, friends - died. My own mortality was staring me in the face, and urging me to take action now, for there was no way to know when my time would be up.

Since then I have been taking action (albeit slowly) on what I was hearing and feeling within - that I must write, and photograph, and create an online presence. What that would look like, I didn't know. But the feeling was strong, passionate, and I followed it, in my own way.

At times it seemed unlikely I would get anywhere, as I was working way too hard making a living, and had nothing left at the end of the day for creativity. And those who knew me took my intent and words with a grain of salt.

And, truthfully, I was afraid. What if I was no good? What if no one cared? But inside I also knew that didn't matter. I needed to do this (without really knowing what “this” was), regardless of what others thought.

So I took one slow step at a time. And I listened.

I no longer have that fear of dying with my music still within me. Wow!

I have a greater sense of peace because I am beginning to express what is within me, on this blog, in this new venue. Even those I have known my whole life are seeing aspects of me I have never before had a way to express.

I do it because I have to, because it is calling to me.

We all have our own unique gifts to share with the world, that, once expressed, will provide some sense of peace within. Are you expressing yours? If not, I urge you to begin - now.

Photo:  Moonrise near Casa Rinconada

Related post:  The Music Is All Around Us

The Music Is All Around Us

"The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen."
--August Rush

In the movie, August Rush, a young boy follows the music he hears all around him, convinced it will lead him to his birth parents. He can't NOT listen. To him, music is everywhere - the traffic, kids playing, wind chimes, someone talking, the subway beneath New York.

What is the music that is calling to you? Are you listening?

In whatever form your music shows up, it is Spirit, that something greater than you, speaking to your heart.

If we listen, magic happens. Life works better. We feel more fulfilled. We are always being guided, if we choose to listen and follow what we hear, and what we feel.

For some, like August Rush, their music is so loud they can't NOT listen. Some of us doubt ourselves, listening to others instead, and doing what seems reasonable or realistic.

What is your music? Writing? Painting? Photography? Cooking? Music? Teaching? or ...?

Listen to what calls to you. Even if it seems faint and you must listen closely. Allow it to wake you at night. Pay attention. See where it leads. Ask, What if?

You may just find something magical.

When the Words Must Be Written: Heartbeat of Africa

Creative insights can be fleeting. Pay attention. Words can sometimes call clearly to be written in the dark of the night, but may have disappeared by the morning.

I wrote one of my favorite poems because the words insisted, and I listened, and acted. It was as if my mother stood next to me, gently shaking my shoulder, telling me to awaken, like she did when I was in grade school. I sat up, and said “what?!” out loud to the darkness.

The thoughts and words continued to insist, so I got up, grabbed pen and paper, stumbled to the next room, and wrote the words exactly as they sit today in "Heartbeat of Africa." Then I went back to bed. Thank goodness I listened … and acted.

It was two weeks after I had learned that my marriage was ending. My emotions and feelings ran deep and with such intensity that it scared me. And I wrote of an experience in Africa nearly a year and a half earlier.

Heartbeat of Africa

Chaco Feels Like Home

The muse often finds me at Chaco. I wrote this in May 2003, on one of my many visits. I always feel like I am coming home when I enter the canyon.

Earth Mother

Oh, Earth Mother
How I love you
You are the source
Of my strength
My balance
You cleanse my soul
And fill it up again
With love
And knowing
You are tough
And you are kind
My feet on your soil
Feel warm
Grounded
Home.

~Christina Solstad 

The photo is of Fajada Butte and Chacra Mesa, in October 2007 (© 2007 Christina Solstad). Fajada is visible as you enter Chaco, from either the north or south road, always a welcoming sight.

Connecting With Your Creative Self

Nature (and that includes Chaco) allows me to connect with that deepest part of myself beyond words.

Sometimes it comes pouring out of me and I must grab it before it is gone. Sometimes I struggle to find it and must work to entice it, then ride the wave for as long as I can.

I have learned that I must create a space where my creative self feels welcomed and nurtured.

Life, the mundane, and the (sometimes) necessary bits of getting along in this world – creating income to pay bills, email, commuting, groceries – tend to eat up my time, leaving precious little for what I most want to do, which is to create – in all the wondrous ways that I can.

Or is that simply an excuse, and a delay tactic, because I am afraid – what if I’m no good, have nothing to say that others want to hear, there is no room for my creations in an already crowded world?

Yet, more and more as I get older, I find that another fear drives me harder - what if I die without expressing, without sharing, all that is within me, feeling at times that it will all burst out, like those lovely dandelion seeds when you blow on them.

My job is to release them. My job is to become myself.

What do you have within you wanting to be released? And how do you connect with that part of yourself? I'd love to hear...