Christina Solstad - Spirit of Chaco Blog

How Do You Say Good Bye? Larry Davis

(Photo: Larry and the three of us [Janette, Christina, Jory] on that first Chaco trip in April 1994.)

Good Bye, Larry

Larry Davis -- my friend, teacher, and the one who introduced me to Chaco Canyon -- has left us. He passed away, peacefully and unexpectedly, on Sunday, December 27.

So how do I say good-bye to a man who showed me so much?

His family says: "His hope was that his legacy would go on within each of us that called him teacher and friend. He loved all of us with such a big heart." 

Biggest Gift

His biggest gift was introducing me to Chaco in April 1994. Larry loved Chaco since he was introduced to its magic some 20 years before. Chaco spoke to something deep within me, and I've been returning ever since. 

Chaco Experiment

I met Larry in 1993. He led a weekly meeting of people interested in personal growth and spirituality.

When he announced a trip to Chaco, I wanted to go. This was to be an experiment to see if taking groups there made sense. Three of us made the trek, a 15-hour drive from Southern California, giddy with excitement.

We camped, the third week in April, in the bitter cold (12 to 30 degrees Fahrenheit). Larry swears it was 70 degrees (Fahrenheit) just the week before. 

Now that I know Chaco and the high desert, he may have been right. Then again, who knows ...?

It snowed on us the first night. We ate soup while sitting in the car to stay warm. We explored and hiked and filled our heads and hearts with Chaco.

We loved it. The experiment was a success. 

Many Introduced to Chaco

Larry continued to take small groups, usually twice a year. I was his assistant on many trips, then continued coming on my own.

Hard to say how many people Larry has introduced to Chaco, and how many are changed as a result. Lots.

Like me. I always go to Chaco with the intent to learn something about myself. And the things I've learned (and relearned)! They are not always easy or pretty, but always valuable.

Thank You, Larry

Larry, thanks for Chaco. And your friendship. And all those I met through you. And all that I learned with your help. And oh, the memories...

Your legacy lives on, in some small way, in me.

I love you, and wish you peace. 

Stop by Chaco any time.

Are You Holding Fast to Your Dreams?

This Langston Hughes poem captured my heart long ago.

Hold fast to your dreams,

For if dreams die,

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.

It is amazing what we can create when we keep our dreams alive - no matter what "they" think. 

Have you ever let someone take away your dreams? What did you do to get them back?

Are You Listening? Are You Awake?

I love the mystic poet Rumi; his words live across time and space, and always speak to my heart. 

Awake! reminds me to listen, to get up, and to write when I am awakened in the early morning hours.

I'm still learning.

We must be aware and open when inspiration strikes, or when it coyly peeks through the door.

Awake!

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don't go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.

Don't go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the doorsill

Where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open

Don't go back to sleep.

    ~ by the mystic poet Rumi

Are you listening?

Writing and AHA! Moments

William Faulkner helps me remember why I write ... and what I need to do, which is to write, and write, and write some more.

For all you writers, and hope-to-be writers, this is for you.

Sometimes we forget that we have this talent. It sits bottle-necked while we run to the store, wash clothes, and hit a few balls at the golf course. But to experience those AHA! moments where the work surprises even you, you have to write thousands of words regularly, daily, frequently.

When your subconscious cranks out words better than your conscious mind can imagine, magic happens. And that only occurs with a habit and an addiction to putting the words on the paper.

                                     ~ William Faulkner

(Thanks to Hope Clark, in December 2005).

Now excuse me while I go write.

An Unexpected Wakeup Call in the Cold Ocean

Chaco Canyon always inspires me to look deeper into myself. So do wakeup calls. And we never know when our next wakeup call will be. My family's latest was just this month. That's when my Dad nearly drowned.

Dad and his race committee partner were a couple of miles out to sea on their patrol boat picking up racing buoys after a sailing race was cancelled due to bad weather. Seas were lumpy at 3 to 4 feet. Ocean temperature was icy cold at  less than 50 degrees Fahrenheit. Definitely not swimming weather.

When the engine would not start, seawater came in over the stern in the heavy seas. The bilge pump stopped draining the water as it should, and water collected in the transom.

Next thing he and his partner knew, the boat capsized and turned completely upside down without warning, and they were thrown into the icy water. Dad went straight down -- he was in the water so quickly he had no time to pull the cord to inflate his life vest (note: bad llfe vest design for situations like this; get positive flotation vest). With no idea which way was up, he was afraid he might even end up under the upside down boat, unable to get to the surface. He still has nightmares about trying to get to the surface.

His partner's vest had inflated automatically upon hitting the water - different design, very expensive. He stayed at the surface.

How long can you last in 50 degree water? I don't know, but it isn't long when you are also struggling against heavy seas, rapidly losing energy, and are 84 years old.

They are convinced they are alive today only because their sister patrol boat was close by to rescue them immediately. And it was only close because Dad had called them to come pull them away from the rocks when they had engine trouble. Thank goodness.

I had arrived home for a week-long visit only 2 hours after he made it to shore that day. Boy, was I happy to see him. I was reminded of my deep appreciation for the simplest pleasures, and for every minute I get to simply be with my family and loved ones.

What else can I say? Just this: Happy Father's Day, Dad -- I'm happy that you made it home that night so I could tell you how much I love you. And I am thankful for every minute we get to share.

Next time we need a wakeup call, though, how about skipping the cold water swim?

Are You Dancing With Wild Abandon?

"Dance with wild abandon to the music within your heart."
This wonderful phrase awakened me from a lovely nap (as my writing often does), so I had to write it down and share it with you!

Seems music has been showing up for me on a regular basis these days - either literally or figuratively. Funny, because I have never considered myself musical.

I do love to play my Native American Indian wooden flute (not nearly often enough!), and had another flute player/flute maker tell me I play beautifully. So now, rather than saying I don't really know how to play, I am saying, Yes, I am a flute player! I play what I feel, what is in my heart.

Music, and especially playing it, opens up my senses, my heart, and my connection to Spirit.

I have never considered myself a dancer, either. In fact, I'm rather shy about it. Yet I had an opportunity recently to “dance with wild abandon,” with everyone doing their own thing, and it was so much fun! And there is always the “dancing in your living room with no one watching” kind of dancing. Who doesn't do that?!

Are you listening to what is in your heart, what bubbles up from your deepest self?  What do you do with what you hear? Why not follow it, and see what magic unfolds!

Related posts:

The Music Is All Around Us

Music at Chaco Canyon: Native American Flute

What If You Die With Your Music Still Within You?

90 Years Young and Still Going Strong

I am inspired by my Aunt Joy. She has been around for 90 glorious years, and is still going strong. Her entire extended family gathered recently for a grand weekend of celebration for her birthday.

That's her in pink in the photo (which includes only a portion of the clan). Four generations were represented. Can you pick out the youngest, her adorable great granddaughter?

Joy has had two wonderful marriages, and has outlived both husbands. Both are great love stories.

• The first, my Uncle Bob, she met after being sent away by her mother so she would come to her senses and realize her then-fiancee was not the right man for her. Instead, she met my uncle, they fell in love, and were married within a few weeks!
• She married her second when she was 80 or 81 and he was in his late 80s. She had nabbed the most eligible widower in her retirement community. The local newspaper did two big spreads on them: their wedding, on Valentine's Day, and a follow-up some time later. They were the talk of the town.

She feels completely blessed for all she has in her life. She's been through a lot too.

What's her secret? Here are some of my thoughts:

• She rolls with what life gives her, and makes lemonade from the lemons. She's been through bankruptcy, and losing two men she loves.
• She is full of appreciation. Every time I visit her, and everything I do for her, she is full of gratitude.
• She is accepting of others.
• She is always helping others. She is also good at allowing others to help her.
• She is clear what she wants.

Look like some pretty good life lessons to me. I'm sure my cousins, my mom (her sister), or other family members have things they can add.

So here's to you, Joy. Thanks for being such an inspiration to your family and friends!

What If You Die With Your Music Still Within You?

I realized a few years ago that a big fear of mine was dying with my “music” still within me, with all the feelings and thoughts and creativity bubbling up from my deepest self still unexpressed.

I no longer have that fear.

During a two- or three-year period many of those I loved - family, extended family, friends - died. My own mortality was staring me in the face, and urging me to take action now, for there was no way to know when my time would be up.

Since then I have been taking action (albeit slowly) on what I was hearing and feeling within - that I must write, and photograph, and create an online presence. What that would look like, I didn't know. But the feeling was strong, passionate, and I followed it, in my own way.

At times it seemed unlikely I would get anywhere, as I was working way too hard making a living, and had nothing left at the end of the day for creativity. And those who knew me took my intent and words with a grain of salt.

And, truthfully, I was afraid. What if I was no good? What if no one cared? But inside I also knew that didn't matter. I needed to do this (without really knowing what “this” was), regardless of what others thought.

So I took one slow step at a time. And I listened.

I no longer have that fear of dying with my music still within me. Wow!

I have a greater sense of peace because I am beginning to express what is within me, on this blog, in this new venue. Even those I have known my whole life are seeing aspects of me I have never before had a way to express.

I do it because I have to, because it is calling to me.

We all have our own unique gifts to share with the world, that, once expressed, will provide some sense of peace within. Are you expressing yours? If not, I urge you to begin - now.

Photo:  Moonrise near Casa Rinconada

Related post:  The Music Is All Around Us

The Music Is All Around Us

"The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen."
--August Rush

In the movie, August Rush, a young boy follows the music he hears all around him, convinced it will lead him to his birth parents. He can't NOT listen. To him, music is everywhere - the traffic, kids playing, wind chimes, someone talking, the subway beneath New York.

What is the music that is calling to you? Are you listening?

In whatever form your music shows up, it is Spirit, that something greater than you, speaking to your heart.

If we listen, magic happens. Life works better. We feel more fulfilled. We are always being guided, if we choose to listen and follow what we hear, and what we feel.

For some, like August Rush, their music is so loud they can't NOT listen. Some of us doubt ourselves, listening to others instead, and doing what seems reasonable or realistic.

What is your music? Writing? Painting? Photography? Cooking? Music? Teaching? or ...?

Listen to what calls to you. Even if it seems faint and you must listen closely. Allow it to wake you at night. Pay attention. See where it leads. Ask, What if?

You may just find something magical.

Music at Chaco Canyon: Native American Flute

I have always connected the beautiful sound of the Native American flute with Chaco Canyon. Listen to R. Carlos Nakai and the wondrous music he makes with his many flutes.

Since having my own, playing at Chaco is something I must do.

In June 2006, I met a couple of photographers who were enjoying Chaco. Unbeknownst to me at the time, one of them (Dave Baiocchi) took photos of me playing my flute, and pausing to take in the stillness, at Casa Rinconada. He was kind enough to send them to me. Thank you, Dave!

I love these photos, because they remind me of how connected and happy I feel when I play.